Staying healthy is hard. And for programmers, our profession isn't doing us any favors. Sitting at a keyboard all day is murder on your wrists, your back, your cardiovascular health, your mood, and your lifespan. In this talk I will share my own journey from inactivity to activity, the challenges I faced, and how I overcame (some of) them. Spoiler alert: there is no one trick doctors hate. We'll talk stretches, standing desks, approachable aerobics, microbiomes, Fitbits, Beat Saber, and Tai Chi, and see what sticks.